5 Top Secrets for Long-Lasting Relationship

Relationship is one of the 10 drivers for finding fulfillment in life. Robert Waldinger, director of a 75-year-extensive study of adult development, concluded that the most critical contributor to living a fulfilled life is strong relationships. He shared in TED Ideas worth spreading, “What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it’s fame and money, you’re not alone.” In this post, I will share 5 top secrets for long-lasting relationship. How would you rate your success? With relationships? Are there secrets available? Well, here you go. I will share 5 secrets to maintain a lasting relationship.

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”

– Donald Miller

American Psychological Association states around 40-50% of marriages end up with divorce in the USA. And divorce is even higher for subsequent marriages. Divorces have a catastrophic impact on children. Most of the time.

5 Top Secrets for Long-Lasting Relationship?

Ability to Listen- Try to Understand Than to be Understood

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” – Stephen R. Covey

Are we willing to listen, to understand? Or mostly listen to reply? The key to success is good communication. And listening is the secret recipe. This is very important in relationships with everyone. Coworkers. Partners. Parents. And anyone else in your life.

The key to any relationship is how we can put “you” first instead of me first.

Ability to Control How we React- “Cockroach Theory”

Sundar Pichai, CEO in a speech mentioned about Cockroach theory. So what is cockroach theory?

Sundar Pichai was in a restaurant and a cockroach and sat on a lady. That lady was panic-stricken, and that reaction was contagious. Everyone reacted to the cockroach similarly, except the server.

The server stood composed and threw it away. Sundar Pichai was observing the reactions. And he was wondering why everyone reacted hysterically but the server.

Was the cockroach responsible for the chaos? If so, why did the server react differently?

Do we face similar situations in our day-to-day lives?

Situations may or may not be in our control. But what we can control is our reaction. Inability to control our reactions can cause the cockroach type chaos.

So how do we control our reactions? We can study much of it from the philosophy of Stoicism. Stoicism is coming from the word “stoic”. This means indifferent to pain, pleasure, grief, or joy (source Wikipedia).

Compromise- Stop Expecting to be Perfect

“Marriage is about compromise; it’s about doing something for the other person, even when you don’t want to.” – Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding

In any lasting relationship, compromise is a key ingredient. One may think how much one needs to compromise? It’s a balance. No one is perfect. We all have our weaknesses. And opportunities for improvement. We can build on our strengths. But need to acknowledge each other’s weaknesses and meet halfway.

Forgive and Forget

“The first to apologize is the bravest.
The first to forgive is the strongest.
The first to forget is the happiest.” – Unknown

For any relationship to be long lasting, we need to learn how to forgive and forget. It might not be easy. That is why it takes strength. Because if we really consider our relationship to be valuable, we should forgive, forget, and move on. There is more goodness in our relationship remaining than to cling on to experiences. For again, no one is perfect. We all need to forgive and forget.

Partnership- Mutual Respect

“Mutual respect is the foundation of genuine harmony,” – Dalai Lama

Any relationship is a partnership. And it needs both partners to be equal. Equality and mutual respect for each other is key. It is a core foundation for a successful relationship. Both partners make their contributions to their fullest. And it is imperative for both to recognize and appreciate it. We should appreciate and respect each other for what we do.

Conclusion

We all have our difficulties in relationships. So summarizing, what are the 5 top secrets to long-lasting relationships? Listen. Self-control. Compromise. Forget and forgive. Parter. Then we could likely sail through any tempest.