How to Be at Peace with Yourself at Work

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Did you ever lose your mind at work? Or lost your peace of mind? Because sometimes at work something flusters us. By fluster, I mean getting agitated or irked by certain comments, behaviors or demands at the workplace. This is not unusual, really. But to keep out balance, we need to learn how to be at peace with ourselves. Besides, it is not the external stimulus that irks us that is important, but what really matters is how we deal with it. So in this post I will discuss how to be at peace with yourself at work. Sounds interesting?

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

~ Dalai Lama

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Why Do We Lose Our Mind at Work?

I have been thinking about how to write this post for the last couple of weeks. Although I got started with, I was still thinking how to pen my thoughts. Because I didn’t want to sound like I am cribbing about a situation I underwent recently When I literally lost my mind work.

So what happened? One of my colleagues incessantly was piquing me, driving me over the cliff to where I had to state vehemently that I disagree and that is not the right approach or the right thing to do in the best interest of the business. This doesn’t happen to me often, but very rare. I seldom lose my mind and get into any sort of altercation. But when I do, it dwells upon me for days. Sometimes I also bring the sulking myself to home and release this tension with my unsuspecting family members. All my fault. So why couldn’t I deal with this situation at work? And worse, why did I bring it home?

Did you ever lose your mind at work? If so, what are the usual reasons? Is it because of someone else’s behavior you lost your inner peace? Or your balance? Thus, let’s discuss some reasons we lose our mind at the workplace and how to be at peace with yourself at work.

Pushy People at Work

So how often do you encounter pushy people at work? They could be anyone at work. For example, say your boss, or coworker or team members. Mostly, these pushy people at work are just trying to get their work done. Further, they don’t even realize that they are being pushy that might create discomfort for others. Besides, this discomfort might grow into tension or headache for someone. Then how do you deal with such pushy people?

Piquing Comments

Often at work place we get to encounter piquing comments. Something that flusters or irks us. Even if we feel uncomfortable, we might not always show it explicitly. Mostly, we try to let it go. But, sometimes it might become excessive and really brood upon us. This could reduce our productivity at work. Or not only lose our temper at work, but also we bring to our homes and transfer the anger of somebody else to our spouse or kids. Has this happened to you? I have experienced this many times, hence the topic for his post.

Unrealistic Demands

Then sometimes there are unrealistic demands. Something that makes little sense. We all go through it, even if we try to explain or keep mum deliberately not to get into any altercation. The nagging continues. Seems as if folks sometimes lose the bigger picture and keep demanding because they know you probably cannot give them what they want. Hence it becomes easier to bring it up again and again. Because they know you will keep mum, sometimes brood over it all by yourself. Does this sound familiar?

Lack of Empathy

If we are at the receiving end, then we can always talk about a lack of empathy from others. Thus, it might be good to be at the receiving end because then we understand how it we should behave when we are on the other side.

Since life is short, and our time at any place is also short. Think about life like a train journey. We halt at a new station, spend at the railway station with new people, on share some of our time with strangers during the trip. Then some passengers get off the train or we disembark ourselves. The journey ends only to start it again some other day. Then why can’t we take things in a stride? Or try to understand each other and help each other to the best of our abilities. Because we are not going to traveling together forever. Since, everyone’s journeys have to end someday sometime. Besides, what remains are only the splendid memories of the times we spend together at work. So why don’t we try to make this journey memorable with fond memories instead of acrimonies or bitterness?

Kicking the Puppy

Sometimes when someone is not responding to incessant diatribe just trying to keep calm, what does it mean? The person might think it is better not to retort or respond in any way that might aggravate the situation. Or others may construe the response to unintended meanings.

Have you even been in this situation when you feel you are like a puppy being kicked and you are not responding? Then how does the person feel who is kicking the puppy incessantly? Is he or she deriving sadistic pleasure out of it? So have you come across such people in your life who love to lick the puppy? Then what should the puppy do if you are one? Because I often see myself in the puppy’s place? Thus, does it mean that I am weak and don’t know how to confront or retaliate? Hence, let’s deep dive into this situation a bit more in the next section.

How to Be at Peace with Yourself at Work

Ability to Control How we React- “Cockroach Theory”

Sundar Pichai, CEO in a speech mentioned about Cockroach theory. So what is cockroach theory?

Sundar Pichai was in a restaurant and a cockroach and sat on a lady. That lady was panic-stricken, and that reaction was contagious. Everyone reacted to the cockroach similarly, except the server. The server stood composed and threw it away. Sundar Pichai was observing the reactions. And he was wondering why everyone reacted hysterically but the server. Was the cockroach responsible for the chaos? If so, why did the server react differently?

Do we face similar situations in our day-to-day lives? Situations may or may not be in our control. But what we can control is our reaction. Inability to control our reactions can cause the cockroach type chaos. So how do we control our reactions? We can study much of it from the philosophy of Stoicism. Stoicism is coming from the word “stoic”. This means indifferent to pain, pleasure, grief, or joy (source Wikipedia).

Let Go

We cannot cling on to things in life, because we come naked in this world and also depart from this world naked. Then why should we be clinging onto immaterial things also? Like negative thoughts, unpleasant memories, or acrimonies. Why can’t we let go, or should we? The power of letting go comes from Taoism, an ancient religion from China. Let everyone flourish as per their own capabilities and not try to control unduly or obtrusively manage. Live and let live. Because not everyone is born the same, everyone comes with their own abilities. That we may call strength or weakness. But who are we to judge someone’s strength or weakness? What if the weakness we see in someone in really their strength? Why can’t we let go?

Forget and Forgive

“The first to apologize is the bravest.
The first to forgive is the strongest.
The first to forget is the happiest.” – Unknown

At workplace we are in a relationship with each other. Would you agree? We spend one third of our lives at work, that is over 90,000 hours. So, just like any relationship, to be long lasting, we need to learn how to forgive and forget. It might not be easy. That is why it takes strength. Because if we really consider our relationship to be valuable, we should forgive, forget, and move on. There is more goodness in our relationship remaining than to cling on to unpleasant experiences or acrimonies. For again, no one is perfect. We all need to forgive and forget. Though it is easier said than done, but can’t we try to try it?

Conclusion On How to Be at Peace with Yourself at Work

Again to conclude, I think life is short. It is a journey. How to be at peace with yourself at work really depends on you. And like all journeys ends so will ours in real life or at our workplace. So our journey at our workplace is a stint, something that is transitory. It will not last forever. So why not behave as if it is our last day at work? Who knows whether we all have the privilege of getting to work together again? If we behave in a way that hurts someone or makes some uncomfortable, why can’t we think who knows whether we can interact with each other again? And even if we get this privilege again, why can we let go the acrimonies? Then why can’t we forget and forgive if we felt hurt or still feel the same way?

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