Will You Have Any Deathbed Regrets?

Being on a deathbed is a topic that we don’t want to think about much. But death is the biggest truth. Often, we want to avoid the truth since it might not be comfortable. The question is, will you have any deathbed regrets? As I think it over, I have regrets from my life that I know would carry with me to my deathbed. Moreso the question sometimes is, do we want to visualize death at all? Our egos drive our thoughts. Whereby the ego wants to make sure it controls the outcomes. But nothing in the world is permanent; the ego hates impermanence. But on our deathbed our egos are no more in control, it cannot cling on to anything or anybody anymore. Because it’s time to let go. So, in this post, I’ll share some of my deathbed regrets and explore if they resonate with you.

“Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because the regret is stronger than gratitude.”

~ Anne Frank

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Will You Have Any Deathbed Regrets?

Of course, this is a tough question since I have not experienced it. But often I think about it. When I am on my deathbed, I guess my entire life will play in front of my life as a flashback. And my inner self would question all the life-changing choices I had made. That which affected my family and near ones.

The question would be, did I make a selfish choice or the right choice, which is unselfish? I think if my choice were selfish, I would regret it later, probably on my deathbed. If they were purely selfless, intending to do good for the other person, even if it hurt me, I would feel good. Unselfish thoughts, words and deeds always give me inner peace, even if that means I have to sacrifice something that I loved immensely. The thought that my choices around renunciation improved another person’s life, unrelated to me, with no selfish motives or expectations, gave me satisfaction. Giving up something we love to help someone else brings the greatest inner peace.

Why Think About Death

So, the fundamental question is, why should we even think about death? That’s because death is the ultimate inevitable truth. My late mother used to tell me, we come to this world with nothing and will go with nothing, so why do we hanker after stuff all our life chasing money. Many times at the cost of our close relationships. Thinking about death is the only way to remind us that nothing in this world is permanent. Everything changes, even if our ego tries to control the outcomes that we want all the time. That is the reality, the truth of impermanence. Therefore, we ourselves are also not permanent. Then, when we know we shall die one day, does it make sense for us to think if we will have any deathbed regrets?

What Thoughts Would Float By on Your Deathbed

My entire life will probably flash before me. Since the time I remember from childhood. Then, growing up in different parts of India. Work and family. Moving to and living in different countries. Finally, I pulled the plug when enough was enough and retired early and moved back to my roots. The question I would ask did I make the right choices in my life that were unselfish? Or I made choices driven by my selfish desires, be it for career, money and power.

Will You Judge Yourself at Your Deathbed

With the choices I made in my life to move around the world for work, I couldn’t spend enough time with my mother when she was not doing well before she passed away. She was back in India in my hometown while I was working in the US. Could I have made other choices that would have enabled me to stay closer to my mother back in India and support her when she was not keeping well? I could have made the choice of not moving to the US. So, will I judge myself for the choice I made? Yes, I do, and in hindsight, I think about what I could have done differently. The book about The Top Five Regrets of the Dying recorded by a nurse resonates with me not having spent enough time with my mother when she was unwell and wanted to see me often.

At another point in my career, I moved to another role, leaving the role that I loved the most, but it gave the opportunity to one of colleague to move into that role, who wanted that role a lot. Did I do the right thing this time? I think I was fortunate enough to have done the right thing for my colleague and the business.

Would You Be at Peace with Yourself When You Die

Then, if I visualize my deathbed, will I be at peace with myself when I die? Life is a journey and a consequence of the choices we’ve made. We may also call it our destiny. But I believe destiny is what our mind or inner voice tells us to do throughout our life. The decisions made by our minds are rational and often driven by our egos, often chasing our desires that are more selfish. But choices made by our inner voice or our gut are often the right choices that are selfless. It’s going to be an interesting dilemma of judging selfish and right choices that pans out in front of eyes at that point.

The most difficult thing to do is to forgive ourselves for the selfish choices that we made in our lives. If we can, I think we can be at peace with ourselves. At least I think I can.

Will You Have Any Deathbed Regrets?

Finally, will you have any deathbed regrets? I think I have and will. But I also think I need to learn to forgive myself. Guess need to give back selflessly for the rest of my life in restitution for my selfish deeds. It is through this process of self-realization that I shed my layers of ego. The pain and the repentance alchemize all illusions of our ego and help me connect with my true inner self. Once I can connect with my true self and become in unison with the universal self, then the ego totally disappears. Guess at that point we can find the eternal true inner peace and maybe no more have any regrets. Because we become one with God, and God is all-loving, God forgives all our sins.

Conclusion of Will You Have Any Deathbed Regrets?

In conclusion, the question is will you will have any deathbed regrets is multifaceted. There is no straight answer to that question. We all have regrets in our lives. It depends on what penance we have gone through to absolve the consequences of our selfish choices. How much pain we have gone through to realize them and how many unselfish choices we made serving others selflessly thereafter. Life is a journey wherein we make selfish and right choices that are selfless. At the end, on our deathbeds, we might account for all the choices and decisions we made in our lives. Guess this self-realization would give us the inner peace that might help our souls rest in peace.